by Emma Grey (Life Balance Specialist)
It’s our assertiveness that shapes our lives. I had a conversation with someone on the weekend about boundaries, and how we teach people how to treat us. We both recalled times when we’ve been too passive and have let too much responsibility or commitment flow into our lives, unstopped. The results have been exhaustion and frustration and resentment—and usually a lot of blame.
When we’re swamped, we’re often quick to point the finger at all the ‘demanding people’. It’s rarely about us, and our inability to manage what we choose to sign up for.
We do this because we need to be liked. We people-please. We want to seem nice. We don’t want to rock the boat.
But being liked isn’t about instant gratification. It’s not about saying ‘yes’, just to fit in. That’s being walked over.
Being liked is something that develops over a long time, when you stay true to your ‘best self’, make heart-felt choices for the best reasons and earn respect. It’s something that grows after you face difficult conversations and take risks and say what people need to hear, not what they want to hear.
It’s something I’m still working out, in my forties—assertiveness doesn’t come naturally to me. Thankfully I gave birth to a great role model in this regard. I’ve recently started looking up to her in more ways than one…
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For more tips on life balance, time management and self-esteem visit www.worklifebliss.com.au where you can download a free eBook on the 7 Types of Busy.